Hi!
Anne and I are back in Brooklyn and fully equipped with Buff face masks, Clorox wipes and too much hand soap. The masks have been an easy enough adjustment, but I’m already thinking ahead to how sweaty I’ll be in the middle of August. Beard + heat + face mask = misery.
This was one of those weeks where my routine got knocked loose. I was used to things in Connecticut, was sticking to a consistent writing schedule and fitting in runs where I could, but being back in Brooklyn made me want to shake up the puzzle pieces and start over. Eat healthier (i.e. cut out the six slices of bread I was eating every day). Run less and more frequently. Shop for groceries in the morning.
What that left me with was a week of mixed feelings. I didn’t write as often as I wanted to, but I got back into my morning runs (see: Accomplishment Crutches). I enjoyed the week but was also scared that I was undoing positive progress I had made towards Writing with a capital W.
So I took a trip back into my notes. Brené Brown writes In Daring Greatly that “healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’” Aha! There it is. I am enjoying the weekly running but scared it will lead me to write less for my audience. Even if it’s an audience of 30 people, the reality is that my fear stems from that audience. “Emmett’s writing was a nice fad while it lasted,” they’ll say. That’s what I’m scared of.
What I need is a huge sign on the wall, right where I do my writing. Something along the lines of “who gives a f*ck!” I’ve loved running so much precisely because I really don’t care about my performance in the context of anything or anyone other than myself. I just want to keep striving. I need to replicate that mentality in writing. There will be good and bad days in anything.
Besides that, my first week in Brooklyn was eventful for another reason: I have a new Zoom “penpal” from Bolivia! I met Farith in a virtual class with Centro, and asked if he would like to connect sometime to practice our English/Spanish together. It was odd how little the differences between us (cultural, professional, geographic, etc…) impacted the conversation and the hour absolutely flew by. Definitely one of the more unique experiences I’ve had in a while.
I also wrote a silly story about chipmunks, inspired by my time with Anne’s killer dog Daisy in the woods of Connecticut, and I discovered YouTube magic. This might be the start of a particularly dark internet rabbit hole, but even if it is I wouldn’t feel bad. It’s the kind of magic that makes you go “no, no, no, NO!” everytime you watch.
Stay positive out there and happy Mother’s Day!
– Emmett
Recent Posts:
The Golden One – A harrowing chase in the Connecticut woods
There Are Flowers In Brooklyn – Spring is here and I am excited
What I’m Watching: Magic!
Shin Lim – Penn and Teller Fool Us
Matt Franco – America’s Got Talent
What I’m Listening To:
The Art of Attention (with Jenny Odell) – The Ezra Klein Show
Starlight – Muse